I’m feeling like I want and need attention from T...even though I just talked to her on the phone today...But I’m really sick right now and feeling really vulnerable and kinda just like a kid inside. Because I’m sick, I didn’t get to go into session in person. Phone sessions are never quite the same. Sometimes I prefer them because things are easier to talk about that way. I wanted to talk about something really hard for me today over the phone and she said no, we’ll save it for in person. I kinda just got whiny in return, which she wouldn’t acknowledge.

I don’t even know what attention it is that I feel like I need from her right now, I just feel like I NEED attention. So I’m having urges to do self-destructive things so that I can get that attention. But, I logically know that won’t do anything and she won’t even pay attention to that.

A lot of me is contemplating just emailing her something to the effect of: “I’m feeling upset and vulnerable and I don’t know why, but I feel like I really need attention. I don’t know what kind of attention/what that even means, I just know I feel like I need attention. I’m having urges to do self-destructive things to get that attention, but I figured emailing you would be a more effective choice. I wish I could tell you what I need, but I don’t know.”

I feel like it would be weird if I sent that, right? I’m not sure, honestly. I’m still fairly new to this therapist, I’ve been seeing her about 3 months now, although I was in group therapy with her before that. At first I was staying really detached but now I’m starting to feel that attachment and I’m scared. I’m becoming too dependent again...