I messed up this morning. I got frustrated and angry at my daughter, causing her to be mad and me to panic. I took her to school anxious/panicky, and I could tell she was still mad when I dropped her off. I am such a bad mom I just didn't think she could need to use the bathroom so close in time (5 minutes), and she locked the door (she never does). I freaked out thinking she was locking me out on purpose & refusing to get ready for school because when I woke her, she was flapping her hands, and I forgot what that meant. Sometimes she signals things like a sore throat, etc., and I couldn't remember. Apparently, the hand flapping just means her hands are asleep, but I forgot, and that made her mad. I am feeling so guilty & bad, I'm worthless, and I suck as a mom I really hate myself.

I told her I was sorry lots of times, but I don't think she forgave me at all even though I told her I messed up and I just couldn't undo what was already done...sigh.