Please bear with me. I'm sorting out my thoughts.

I go to an outpatient clinic. I have a new therapist in the practice. Since March of 2018. So, not that new. Its been 7 months. My old t, went on maternity leave in March, and my current t was just going to be my interim therapist. But I decided to stay with her. It was a hard decision to make, but I thought it was time for a change. I also felt that she had a helpful perspective on some things, had been helpful to me, and she has experience with treating trauma. So I thought she'd be helpful to have as my therapist.

I am finding, though, that "Trauma work," as she calls it, is not only not helping me, it is stressing me out a lot. I dissociate when she tries to push me to talk about things I don't want to talk about. We are not going to do "Trauma work." I set a boundary one day, and she will respect that. No trauma work. But I am finding that some of her approach really stresses me out!!!

She does not do active listening, like my old therapist did. She asks me a ton of questions because she "Doesn't understand." So in the middle of me talking, she will ask questions because she doesn't get it. She doesn't understand what I'm saying. I'm realizing, that this is not my issue. It is her issue. Maybe she has some kind of learning disability. I don't know. But I end up feeling like...my problems aren't going to get solved when she asks questions. I find myself still really missing my old t there.

I do have a good psychiatrist there. And that is hard to come by in my opinion. She is a very good Pdoc. My current t is not a bad t, either. I just have a hard time with her not understanding me, asking many questions that feel like I'm getting derailed, and we have had MANY miscommunications that have made me feel like I am the crazy one. She said I'm not crazy though. There is something about her approach that REALLY stresses me out.

I haven't seen her in about 2 weeks. I will see her Friday. I just don't feel centered like I felt with my old t.

The reason I left my old t, was because...she didn't have experience with trauma and I didn't feel like she gave me the reactions I needed when talking about hard things. I don't think I want to leave therapy with my current t. And she seems to care about my wellbeing. She knows that therapy is for ME. It's about ME and my wellbeing. I wouldn't be surprised if when I see her Friday, it's a good session. They are not consistently bad sessions. I am glad I set the boundary with her.