I don't know what's wrong with me. Hyper and agitated at the same time. Kept tossing and turning in my sleep, waking up every hour on the hour (literally) with bad dreams. But I've been hyper and agitated for a while now, so it wasn't the dreams... But anyway,

One dream was about my grandma who recently passed away on August 6th. While I would not consider it a "nightmare," it just made me sad after I woke up because in the dream, she had a happy face, was laughing, and enjoying herself at what would have been her 83rd birthday party. She was eating ice cream and cake, and got a lot of wonderful presents that literally made her the happiest she's ever been since the death of my grandpa in 2016. She had no dementia anymore (she was cured somehow with the latest advancements in medicine). It nearly made me cry when I woke up and makes me feel that way now, because she could have lived a lot longer if my grandpa had listened to her doctors.

But for those who don't know, my grandma's official cause of death is dementia. Her vitals were low on the morning of August 6th and then she died about 3-4 hours after her vitals went low, but with the comfort of my dad, sister, and mom. I didn't go because it would have bothered me. But I did get to say goodbye to her over the phone about 30 mins before her death, so that was nice. My mom never cries (I can't remember the last time she did?), but she bawled her eyes out during my grandma's last moments even though it was her mother-in-law.

It just sucks that I had a dream that imagined what her life would have been like if it continued, how happy she would have been if we could've done something about the dementia, instead of seeing her suffering for many, many months up until her death. But when she was in IP for AP changes, the IP dr did say she had 6 months to live, so he wasn't wrong.