Is your t a Gestalt therapist. She sounds very gestalty and like she is trying to get you to take responsibility. I don’t find this approach very helpful when depressed or anxious in fact I find it anti therapeutic because it almost blames the client for their circumstances and as you say you don’t want to feel like that. If we had a choice no one would want to be depressed. Would you consider this missatunnement, therapist burnout/ compassion fatigue or a rupture