I act up/act out by doing things my T doesn’t want me to do or acting how she wouldn’t want me to act. I regress in my progress, essentially. I act stubborn and childish. I whine/rant/complain in a non-productive way. I engage in self-harm behaviors (when usually, in the last year, I’ve been very good about not doing that). I have an attitude of “giving up,” essentially. I do things that I know are not effective/healthy. I do it to almost antagonize T into acting the way I want her to act. Why I do that is a mystery to me, especially because I am fully cogniscent of what I am doing and know it is wrong.