@here_today I don't know... when I said sabotage, I didn't mean that I had unconsciously did it on purpose. I more meant that my carelessness was to blame. I feel like I really needed that appointment, so this outcome was not good. A bit disastrous, really.

@weaverbeaver No, she's not Gestalt. I do think she tries to get me to do whatever I can to influence my situation, which is reasonable, but sometimes makes it feel like she lacks sympathy or empathy. However, I don't think she feels she would be doing her job if she just allowed me to wallow in helplessness without intervening to point out things that I do have control over (or that she perceives I have control over). I would define the situation as misattunement.

This is our exchange this afternoon. Maybe she is realizing that I'm actually depressed now. I'm a little worried that she thinks I was acting out, but oh well.

Edit: I don't know why the images were so small. This what it said.

Me: Can't come today. I'm sorry.

Her: Why? Are you coming back next week?

Me: Because I've been too depressed to do anything but lay in bed, and I didn't wake up until a minute before I texted you.

Her: I'm concerned about you and your depression. Hope you will come next week.

Me: I am concerned about myself, too. Part of the issue today was that Dr. Pdoc started me on another medication, Remeron, yesterday. I didn't know how it would affect me and that if I didn't set an alarm, I would be capable of oversleeping to the degree that I did. I've been resistant to trying anything that might make me gain weight, but now I am desperate because my bad thoughts have been increasing and I need that to stop. Better to be fatter than dead.

Her: I hope the medication will work, may need to increase exercise which would also be helpful for depression.