riptide the age and even the gender do not really matter.. it's not a literal thing. It can be a difficult concept to wrap one's head around in part because it sounds far more straight forward than it is... it can be about transferring feelings surrounding a parent without seeing the T AS the parent for one thing.... erotic transference does not rely on the T's gender even being in line with one's sexual preference... such as having erotic transference for a female t if you are a hetero female as well... Transference is anything but literal.

in the end it means you are reacting to things from outside the therapy room as though they originated from within the room. Examine one's own reactions and see if it really holds water. Was my first T last year really all that hot? Well, he certainly did look hot and he had all that intense focus for sure.. but what did i know about *him*? Nothing. i knew nothing. How can you be really "in love" with someone you know nothing about? sexually attracted yes, but in love? All i knew was what i brought into the room with me and *that* was transference.