I'm debating if I should change my AP from Rexulti to something else, but I don't know if I should maybe ask for a second AP (a heavy hitter) to go along with my Rexulti. I want your (non-professional) experiences.

Rexulti has been great for depression. It's the only thing that's ever helped my depression. However, agitation or hallucinations? Not so much.

I get lots of hallucinations outside of episodes. It's a known thing. The official Dx written in my file is "bipolar 1 disorder with mood incongruent psychotic features." Fortunately, I can usually tell when I am hallucinating because I use grounding skills. I also try not to worry about odd sounds and odd visual stuff unless they're bothersome or dangerous. My therapist told me to try to ignore them by watching YouTube videos or listen to music. Though if things get real bad, then I won't drive anywhere.

The hallucinations are pretty mild in nature, though. For example, last night I heard some voice mumbling words into my right ear that I could really make out. I realized it was a hallucination because it came in only one ear, as if someone was whispering in that ear. I also remember a while back where I had two voices talking to me in each ear. One man telling me I was



Then another lady was laughing with him and encouraging him. "Hahahaha! Again, again!" But I realized that was fake. I just don't know about delusions, because I live by myself and no one here is able to tell me if I'm delusional. So that's the part about my psychosis that concerns me.

ANYWAY, the great thing about Rexulti, though, is that it hasn't caused weight gain or any other negative side effects. Literally, nothing else that I can think of, besides perhaps some low blood pressure (but all AP's do this to me). I know Abilify is similar to Rexulti, but I've already tried that one. Helps immensely with depression, but doesn't stop mania, so it kind of defeats the purpose of an AP...

I'm deathly afraid of Seroquel, and Latuda just doesn't do anything for me except sedate the s*** out of me. I am never, EVER going back on Seroquel. That stuff literally gave me the worst depressive episode I've ever experienced in my entire life, and gave me suicidal thoughts. I don't care if it stopped my mania. I'm not touching that again. Ever.

I think I need a heavy hitter like Clozapine or Olanzapine, but the weight gain from those two scare the living s*** out of me. And stuff like Saphris just seem too sedating. Plus, I saw my grandma on Geodon when she was alive. It was not good for her, and I don't know if it'd be good to me since we're obviously related.

My pdoc won't prescribe 1st gen AP's because that's against his office's policy. So no Haldol etc for me. But my grandma was doing great on Haldol while she had it. But she got Haldol from an IP stay outside the continental U.S., where the Rx policy is different. So when she came up here, she went to a geriatric place that said, "We don't like Haldol because it's a 1st gen antipsychotic. We're talking her off it." That's the only reason she went off it. They put her on Seroquel, but then she went to IP again and was put on Olanzapine and Geodon at the same time.