Quote:
Originally Posted by eskielover
I actually got to the point where I couldn't make it to work any longer. My H was out of work, I was struggling with burnout that finally ended up in a total breakdown. I was already calling in sick after the first of the year, then the 1994 Northridge earthquake hit & the one time I tried to go back to work (that was normally a 1.5 hour drive ended to taking 6 hours to drive both ways. That was the final straw. I took medical leave of absence to keep my medical coverage (with no pay) until I could sort out what to do. I never could go back & major depression took over & I couldn't even function. Hard for everyone to understand because a computer engineer who functioned just shiukdn't have crashed like that. I didn't understand all the dynamics at that time.....I do now.... it was a bad 13 years of my life that became my "black hole" that I remember very little of thst time.
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I fully understand that awful kind of depression. There's a difference, however, in being able to take a medical leave to keep your insurance and not having a job that would not permit a medical leave (let alone doesn't provide insurance). Taking leave from such a job would be called "quitting". So the end result could genuinely be homelessness, losing beloved pets, and all possessions. Facing unspeakable dangers, etc.
I think that is why many of us with mental illness force ourselves to march on...which makes us even more messed up...but the alternative is terrifying.