Quote:
Originally Posted by ElectricManatee
I think you're falling into the trap of assuming your friend is doing therapy the "right" way and thus you must be doing something wrong. Some people go to therapy to share on a very surface level and don't risk opening up about deep, painful things. For them, therapy probably isn't that hard and doesn't hurt as much but might also be less likely to help them make big changes. It's easy to not miss something you haven't allowed to become important to you.
My T has often said that people who are low-maintenance "good" clients who do what they think they're supposed to and never push back or ask for things or get upset can sometimes be the most frustrating clients to work with. They don't open themselves up to change or to taking risks, and she feels less able to help them because of it. So maybe you're having trouble precisely because you're doing something right.
|
Thank you for really putting the words into what I was doing. I am definitely assuming that the less you have to see your T and the more you can handle yourself the more 'right' you are with therapy and the 'better' you are at it. I 1000% thought that the low-maintaince clients are the ideal perfect clients, do what they're told, listen and don't push back, consistently complete homework and progress is a nice linear line. I never thought about it as taking risks, I like that idea because I'm so risk-averse in my real life.
Quote:
Originally Posted by SlumberKitty
I don't think you are being a big baby. It is hard telling secrets and deepest thoughts. And it is hard to trust someone to be helpful. I don't think your friend meant to be invalidating, just saying what your friend thinks is helpful for them, but it doesn't mean it is helpful for you. Your journey is going to take as long as it needs to take. Keep at it and don't compare other people's experience in therapy to your own. Each is unique and different. ((hugs)) if you want them.
|
Yes, all the hugs pleaseeeee
Quote:
Originally Posted by NP_Complete
I can relate to what you're saying. I had a trauma a little over a year ago and I've been seeing my therapist 3 times a week since then. I've struggled a bit with how often I go and considered cutting back to twice a week. But then I realize I'm still struggling; I often need a 10 minute phone call on the weekends with him. I struggle with needing that extra contact with him. But it's where I'm at right now.
I also vacillate about where I'm at. I constantly beat myself up for not being over what happened yet. Some days it feels like it wasn't that big of a deal and other days it feels like the world tilted on its axis. I often wonder if I'm just weak because I let this thing get to me so badly and wonder how other people would have reacted to it.
If you're at a place where you need once a week therapy, there's nothing wrong with that. It's hard not to compare yourself to others, but it's really not productive.
|
Yes, some days I'm like look how well I'm doing, I'm fine, I feel good, I don't need therapy, and then other days it feels like the breath is crushed out of me and everything hurts and the idea of continuing life seems impossible.