So I’ve had a really strange week. Huge highs and massive lows.
I reached out to my T a couple of times and T replied as usual.

Yesterday was one of the hardest days I’ve had for a long time. I emailed T to say I was having a tough day and wanted to know she was there. T replied with three lines, non personal, straight out of a training manual. I was gutted, T didn’t even sign off with her name. This led to me doing something I won’t mention as I don’t want to trigger. I then replied to T first thing this morning saying her email was **** and got a bit of a ****** email back to say they had just got of a flight and would email later. I was deverstated. T didn’t say she was away, I know she doesn’t have to say anything, but I feel massively guilty and hurt by it. I imagine her being really annoyed with me that I’m contacting her when she’s away.

I don’t know why it bothers me that she is in a different country (presumably) and I don’t know. I just hate the thought that she off doing something amazing and I pissed her off.

I hate myself. I hate how I feel. I just wanted a bit of affection and thought in her email, I’m asking too much aren’t I. 😔