In my negative transference toward my last therapist, I can tell from the way I felt and still feel that she was the "bad object" in my subjective interpersonal "reality". That's probably not objective reality, but it was and is my subjective reality.

I'm the patient, though -- and it took me a long time to follow instructions and "get in touch" and be able to feel that, and even to "act it out" because it had been so supressed or cut off that there were/are no words.

The T couldn't tolerate being my "bad object", though. Or that of another client she told me about.

So, yeah, I think I get it, going back to when I was a kid and my mother got enraged and I didn't like or want to be who I was in her eyes in those instances.

It really, really sucks when you become the "bad object" for your T. I didn't know how to handle it. It "broke" me again, as I was trying to piece myself together.