I should have listened more to you guys about waiting more time before contact. I sent an email that was thought out and I thought I could handle any reply or even no reply. But when I got no reply--and she would have responded by now if she was going to--I was hurt at first, and then I felt nothing, and now I have these feelings of being un-cared for and unloveable. I don't think it is former's T's job to help me feel cared about or loveable, I just think the lack of response touched upon old wounds of non-responsiveness on the part of my parents and thus I have the childhood feelings of being un-cared about and unloveable. So now besides just missing former T, I'm having to deal with these other feelings plus feelings of wanting to SH, so I just complicated my life. It's amazing what missing someone can lead one to do. A perfectly logical adult becomes a perfect mess.