That's an ok article - however, it would also be important to consider how men and women's attitudes towards pain differ, and also consider individual experiences and preferences. The failing point is where the author claims women are ignoring pain during sex, but heavily relies on a study that claims the majority of young women rate their satisfaction of sex on the basis that it is not painful. So they are at once entirely focusing on it but also ignoring it?

By the nature of sex, a female has a greater chance of injury than a male. That is a biological fact that both sexes should be well aware and know how to avoid - it should be something that is taught in sex education, but since sex is such a taboo topic in American culture, fat chance that will happen.

Yet I don't think you could fault too many men for having little worry over whether or not they will be harmed during sex. It would be more realistic that they'd worry about whether they would harm a female partner (if they are heterosexual). I doubt the interview was conducted to assess men's feelings on that topic in particular, as the interview was about what they considered satisfying. From a preview I found online, it said that LGBT participants and women were more likely to respond that satisfying a partner was satisfying for themselves - but the study isn't available to read to see how these interviews were conducted.

If the pain is due to a medical issue, that is definitely something that should be addressed more often. That is the most unbalanced issue brought up in that article, to me. Women in general are treated as more expensive, least studied, and most overlooked when it comes to medical issues, which is very odd. Weren't years of studies about heart attacks only conducted on men, for example?

Anyway, the people I've been with have looked to me for permission and direction about how they can behave sexually - and from conversations with them about it, that comes from a fear of harming me or being too aggressive. This article avoids the reality that many, many men are just as confused and unsure about sex as women are.

Women impose a lot of the expectations on themselves and each other more than men impose them on women, from my experience. Gosh - I don't even remember one instance where a man made me feel I should look a certain way or behave a certain way - all that came from other women telling me what men wanted. When I actually started talking to men, it was an entirely different picture - most of them said that the most attractive thing was that a woman was interested in him and made him feel important. That was pretty much it. So all this article's talk about how women endure so much pain trying to look good for men falls flat for me. I'm sure some men are shallow and petty about what a women looks like, but I don't think that is the majority.

On the perception of pain and boundaries - I think men do experience some pain during sex, but are less likely to register it as a problem.

I had a man tell me once that a woman tried to make love to him while he was unconscious, and when he woke up he was in pain for a week. I asked him if that bothered him or if he felt violated, and he said he didn't - he said that since he intended to have sex, but instead passed out, he didn't see why he should be upset. The fact that he was physically injured didn't seem to be a factor at all. Of course, if the genders were reversed, I can't imagine a women would respond that way.

I've accidently been too rough on men and never has one become upset over it. Once a partner's knees were bloodied and raw , and I don't think in an interview he would consider that "bad sex".

It seems like it goes a long way to know what your boundaries or thresholds are, and to not be intimidated by sex or your partner. It would be helpful if sex and healthy sexual relationships were more openly discussed in society so women could more confidently find their boundaries. It would help if everyone was more forgiving, realized that sex is messy and confusing sometimes, and there is no reason to be ashamed or judgmental of that. Maybe if more people had that attitude, both women and men could figure out what the other wants and needs without fear of persecution.