Quote:
Originally Posted by Fuzzybear
T1 had “intense negative contertransference” for me 
This is why he hurt me so much, he would never admit that of course.
His construction of “reality” is different from mine.
I do not accept that just because he was (and is) a T that he is any way superior to me, or that he is always right.
What does acting in or acting out mean, when a therapist does this?
Btw I have considered speaking to him again. Since I was somewhat of a test bear for him he would not be disinterested in hearing from me again. He never said “don’t contact me” - he never needed to. |
I'm sorry you felt so hurt by your T. I am, however, a bit confused about your description of intense negative transference your T1 had for you.
In my therapy, and from the research I've done the past three years, countertransference is likely not "for you," but is a response to who or what you remind your T of. I had very negative transference for my T for several months, at which time my T changed his way of conducting therapy with me. He told me that my negative transference was not helpful. My negative transference was not for my T, but was a response to who and what he reminded me of.
If a T has negative countertransference, it's the T's responsibility to rectify the situation, either through supervision or referring the patient out to another T.
Are you wanting to return to your T1? If he hurt you by his negative countertransference, I would simply caution you about getting back into an injurious situation.