I don't really know if I had a mid-life crisis. I had a secret life-long crisis that smoldered until, in mid-life, it came spewing out all over the place. I once knew a guy who wore a hat that had a saying written on it. It said: "Ask me tomorrow. I've made enough mistakes for today." In my case, though, it would have to say: "Don't ask me today... or tomorrow either. I've made more than enough mistakes for a lifetime."

I'm pretty angry... but mostly at myself. Looking back at my life can take my breath away. I can see where other people certainly contributed to my demise. But, ultimately, as the Jimmy Buffett song says: "...it's my own damn fault." I'm not trying anymore. It all just is what it is... or was what it was... to be more accurate. It's all water over the dam now.