Quote:
Originally Posted by BudFox
A few that caught my eye...
- He is always attentive, attuned, active, involved and focused in our sessions
- He always validates my experiences and my feelings
- He has reassured me that he wouldn't abandon me as a client
In real life people are not so exquisitely understanding and validating and accepting. Like you say, therapy is a one-way street... but in real life it's two-way. I dont see the point in habituating to such a dynamic. I found this not only false but harmful and disorienting. Also since people tend to consumed by their own needs, if a therapist appears altruistic and selfless it means they are acting and concealing their true self, and that is not a basis for trust in my view (others might have a different view). Seems a significant number of people find the one-way thing to be like a drug, and can't get enough. My problem was that I trusted too much and didn't exercise normal skepticism and critical thinking, partly because of all the cultural and institutional pressure to "do therapy".
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But therapy is not supposed to be exactly like real life no? We pay them to be attuned and to put their needs aside for that one hour... I personally take what I see in therapy and try to get more of that in my real life to deepen relationships and value my own needs. Maybe I’m agreeing with what you are saying in a different way, that I know that this is not how real life is and that this is their job and that the point is I will learn to figure out how to develop enough of their attunement and validation for myself and with others that I won’t need therapy anymore.