Thanks for sharing. I agree, his countertransference wasn’t “for me” but rather, who or what I apparently reminded him of.. in his own disowned or only partially owned “stuff, past” etc. I haven’t done extensive research on transference, countertransference etc.

If I did return to T1, even for one session.. I suppose there is a possibility he could injure me again. But only if ... either or both of us somehow get sucked into some negative countertransference .. in only one session. I would think, and hope, this wouldn’t be likely .. we ended on “good” terms, at least from his point of view. And the letter he sent reflected that.. that the therapy had been a “success” - but not “transformative” - those are my words but I think they reflect what he said.. or maybe they don’t. I’m just rambling.. this may clarify things somewhat or may further confuse.. I don’t know ..

Also if I did contact him I would be much more aware of interpersonal dynamics
etc than I was when I last spoke to him. So if the conversation was very sub optimal I would exit. I am almost certain he would have no issue with me consulting him for one session, I can’t think of a reason why he might. But I would of course be careful. And if he said anything which I found unhelpful I’d say so.. in a considered response, at least I would hope that would be what would happen. And if necessary, as I said, I’d end the session early.

I don’t think he would have any power over me. If he didn’t show compassion or kindness... well that would be about him. And I would be very careful..

I could also be hurt by a completely new therapist. If I consulted T1 I would have “defences” in place.. as in fact I would with any therapist. At least those are my thoughts..