Quote:
Originally Posted by Soybeans
But therapy is not supposed to be exactly like real life no? We pay them to be attuned and to put their needs aside for that one hour... I personally take what I see in therapy and try to get more of that in my real life to deepen relationships and value my own needs. Maybe I’m agreeing with what you are saying in a different way, that I know that this is not how real life is and that this is their job and that the point is I will learn to figure out how to develop enough of their attunement and validation for myself and with others that I won’t need therapy anymore.
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I'd add that what makes it easier for a therapist to attune to and to validate a client's experiences is a significant degree of emotional detachment, which they hopefully develop in a course of their career. Detachment, unlike what many people think, doesn't mean not caring about a person in front of you. It means you don't get emotionally involved too much to lose objectivity and clear vision and you don't assume personal responsibility for the other person's well-being. It is, actually, much easier to understand what's going on with the person and to accept their experiences without judgment when one isn't emotionally involved. Which means that one is, actually, more empathetic when they develop a certain degree of detachment. Not to mention that they are more capable of exercising sound judgment.