I emailed T after this exchange. Something else Began going round and round in my head about as I was leaving that session. Her reply didn't feel helpful. Infact it felt part of it.
The last couple of days I've felt awful. Don't recognise my life at the moment, which tells me something is going on.
After ranting at T yesterday I emailed saying "this feels awful!"

She replied "
Yes, it is. It feels to me that we are reliving something, probably loads of things at the same time. We need to talk about it."

Im Busting to get to session now. Exploding with the need to Talk and sort this out. Knowing we will. Been here before. Got the T shirt.