Hi Miryuiki, I hope it gets better for you.

I’ve often heard it said that you must love yourself before you can love others.

Self-love is more like being kind to oneself, not thinking negative thoughts against self; happy and confident with self; not physically abusive to self I.e.: hitting, drug abusing, prostituting...; accepting ones person for what they are; taking care of the body’s needs like cleaning, staying in shape, and grooming...

Love is not materialistic, but it wouldn’t be a bad thing to treat oneself, like a spa bath, or a favorite desert, a massage, a nice outfit, going out for dinner every now and then.

Taking care of ones self as if it were another person that you cared for.

Self-love is accepting yourself for who you are.

Self-love is not self-centeredness, pride, and narcism.

As persons that had withstood great trauma and mental/emotional/physical abuse....self-Love is often a mystery that has to be practiced over and over.

I’m still trying to find that middle ground....but it’s hard to when you have other parts that hate the body. Good luck with this.