Thanks everyone-all replies were super helpful.

Unfortunately, when I asked if she could take fewer notes, pointing out that even when she was talking to me she was still writing, she became peevish, saying I was being dismissive of her style and unable to let go of control. Well...I very gently suggested we were not a good match, and could she recommend someone else in the practice (there are about 12-15 other therapists) she said she couldn’t think of anyone and perhaps I should try looking on Psychology Today. (!)

I’m disappointed, first because I had such a good relationship with a t who retired, and second because this feels like such an epic fail. Pretty discouraged, but perhaps just an indication to leave the idea of therapy alone for now. Maybe not the right thing for right now.