I am probably projecting my own tendencies onto you but when you say you need to find your true self I hear anxiety behind that statement. As in, perhaps you aren't happy with you.

It is so good that you have career and personal goals and are working toward them. It that process which defines and helps us learn more about our "true selves." I think what we do and who we are with shapes us but we also have a core temperament which we were born with.

Also, my first USERNAME was Mysterious because I couldn't figure out why some of the things I had talked about in therapy were unleashing so many severe automatic reactions. I was also in therapy in order to understand why I attempted. I have a better sense of "Why" but, honestly, I will never totally know--some things in this world are just not totally knowable and we cannot control others and everything that happens to us. I have been working on accepting this and living more in the present moment.

My mother loved us very much but she was a bit authoritarian and wanted to know all our business growing up. As a result, I am a people pleaser with very weak boundaries. One of the ways I am feeling like I have my own identity is by keeping more of my thoughts totally private. When someone wants to smother us/know everything we think and want and then start telling us what we should think and feel, that way of dealing with us makes us feel less strong and independent. I am finding that learning to create more boundaries with the people who I love, who are like this--makes me feel stronger and prouder of myself. When we have strong boundaries--we are showing respect and love for ourselves.

I have told you about a lot of lessons I have learned since my attempt and I hope you find something I have said useful. As Marvin said, learning to love and accept ourselves is a lifelong process. Enjoy the journey!