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Old Oct 07, 2018, 10:24 AM
Anonymous55498
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Quote:
Originally Posted by precaryous View Post
Now I’m wondering if my ‘expectations’ are too high since it seems the subject doesn’t come up much at all in other people’s therapies?
Maybe in part because many therapists don't want to encourage setting strong boundaries but use whatever emerges as therapy material. And/or they know that most likely they would not stick with the same boundaries forever, so better not to get there unless the client requires it. I most often don't set clearly spoken boundaries with people but address it if something makes it relevant and necessary.

I think my last T really avoided addressing boundary issues. He did not do anything intrusive, but was quite unhelpful when I had strong ambivalence around emailing, for example. Mostly just said it was okay. But when I ended therapy with him, he would still engage in emailing for quite a long time. Nothing excessive, and all of his responses were quite professional and short, but still. Then one day just stopped responding altogether, without ever discussing it. I could never clearly figure out what this was all about but I decided not to care because I think I could speculate forever. I did try to get him tell me how he perceived me in general, just before I stopped seeing him, and he refused even that direct inquiry. He advertises himself as a very interactive T, and he indeed was, I liked that about him for the most part but sometimes his self-disclosures and excuses got a bit too much. The most I can speculate is that he basically enjoys the interactions and stops when that is no longer the case, maybe.
Thanks for this!
precaryous