Reading through other comments made me think of the theme of "closure" that was very prominent for the most part of my life.

It was always important to me to make a proper "closure" with someone who hurt me. In that sense, therapy for me was no different than other life situations. Therapy termination was just another "closure".

At some point though, I decided to be brutally honest with myself and to ask myself whether it really was a "closure" I was looking for or a new "opensure". The thing is that the perfect closure for me was when two people can own up to their actions and recognize the effect it made on the other person, "forgive" each other, say good bye and move on with their lives. But, if it is possible for them to do that, if they own what they did, then there is no need to say good bye, isn't there? The the relationship has a new opening and it improves.

The whole reason why the real "closures" suck, why they are never sufficient and why they often don't happen at all is because one or two people are not in the place to see things from the other person's perspective and to take responsibility for their behavior.

That's how I stopped believing in "closures". For me now there is no such thing as external closure with anyone. Closure happens inside and it only happens when all the feelings about the rupture have been sufficiently processed and the experience has been integrated with the new meaning attached to it.