Her response sounds really strange. So what if you are being dismissive of her style? So what if you are unable to let go of control? You're expressing a need/preference, and a totally reasonable one. Did she even offer any reassurance about the way it impacts her and her ability to meet your needs in general? It's an obvious truth that note taking impacts people's listening and attentiveness--not necessarily in a bad way at all, but it impacts the interaction significantly. And there are ways to make people feel more attended to even if you're taking notes.

Most of the therapists I've seen took notes rarely if at all. My current therapist takes some notes, but only a few times a session at most. I would find constant note taking very disruptive--I'm not a therapist, but I know I listen differently to patients when I'm writing simultaneously, and that isn't the kind of interaction I want in therapy.