Gosh this is interesting. 2 years ago I decided to move to the mountains. Practical stuff stopped me. But having been forced to stay in the city, I learned some stuff about relating.

I love the peace of being in mountains, or on cliffs, or in small villages. But I'm not sure if I would have felt any better there - because other people can be uninspiring wherever you are.

What you wrote above made me think hard about the energy that life struggles take and feeling depleted. Being burnt out.

I asked someone whether going off on my own was constructive and she said why not, but methinks that I will feel burnt out and insecure anywhere right now.

THANK YOU Someusername - your post has lit light bulbs in my brain!!

just a small quote for a big deep thinking: "Trying to trace my motivations, I realize it sucks all my energy to avoid being screwed over, or navigate life in any way that is fair or just. Those failures really sting, for some reason - I don't know how others brush it off so easily. You have to fight so hard to do anything - even seeminly simple things - and I just don't want to be a part of all that anymore."