Nothing is bad in my life right now, I have a good job and a great boyfriend. I just can’t shake this feeling when I get upset, I want to die. It can’t be normal to think like this. I’ve been through some rough things in my life buts that’s over, everything is fine now. Except I just cannot control my emotions. I’m sensitive and I get very sad. I also hit myself sometimes, sounds crazy I know. I have some kind of self hate that I can’t get rid of. I don’t know what to do for help. I thought of making an appointment with I don’t even know what kind of doctor would help. I don’t want to take medicine, that scares me that I would become dependent. I smoke weed to cope, but since I have gotten a good job I try to quit. But my emotions just eat out of control and I want to just be high all the time. I’m just here looking for advice. My friends and family don’t know I feel this way, I don’t want to tell them, I’m embarrassed and scared