Unless you are a hired employee and he pays your living wages, he has no business telling you that you must vacuum or declutter. He isn’t your employer.

If you want to do things, you do them but it’s not something you must do or he has any kind of special rights to order you around.

My mother is terminally ill yet she is not ordering us around! And it’s our mother! Not a boyfriend!

I don’t see why him being ill or you having depression is any kind of reason or an excuse for him to be nasty and for you to endure it. I do understand having hardships and so on but what you endure with this man isn’t typical normal hard times that couples endure. It’s quite extreme.

Relationship even in hardest moment doesn’t suppose to be like this. You seem to believe that people should endure this. They could if they choose so but
they don’t have to. I also don’t understand why you think people shouldn’t get upset when others say things he says. I can’t imagine people being ok with such treatment

And lastly anyone would get depressed being threated this way. I am not surprised you feel depressed. I am upset on your behalf simply reading about this man treating you like crap for years! I can’t imagine what living this way does to you. I am in fact angry thinking that someone thinks it’s ok to treat a girlfriend like a maid. I don’t care how sick he is.