I’m not entirely sure how one works through it, but for me, just talking about it with T has helped. I’m terrified of abandonment, but only in relation to certain people. T is one of them. In fact, losing T has become my biggest fear. Telling him this was hard because it made me feel extremely vulnerable, but each time I bring it up he reassures me that it won’t happen. I don’t always believe it, but consistency helps.

When it comes to abandonment fears, mine are a bit like this: “they all left before him, it’s only a matter of time until he leaves me too”. The fact that he hasn’t and he constantly says he won’t is slowly diminishing that notion. It’s not easy, I still have days when I’m convinced I’m kidding myself, but so far he has proven me wrong. So I guess for me, the therapeutic relationship and his consistent presence is the therapy.