long story short, the way i worked through both my attachment and abandonment issues was with a 'non-traditional multifaceted approach' incorporating the help of neurofeedback therapy, a very involved and supportive spouse, and to a lesser extent my talk therapy therapist. the neurofeedback helped to calm my anxiety, fears, and emotional dysregulation. my husband helped by becoming involved in my therapy by accompanying me to most of my sessions, including being involved with my neurofeedback therapy. with my husband attending my sessions, he became quite attuned to me and my issues and because of that, he was able to provide the support, both emotional and physical, i was needing on a level that my talk T realistically never could provide. i was able to start forming a secure attachment to my husband, the kind of attachment i could never really form with my T. as my anxiety and fears calmed because of the neurofeedback i was doing, i was able to start seriously focusing on addressing the attachment transference and abandonment fears that i had with my talk T. i knew i was ready to terminate talk therapy when i no longer felt a chaotic attachment to my T and i no longer feared being abandoned by my T.

it was this book that encouraged me to look into trying the neurofeedback. it definilty resonated with me when i read it, 'Neurofeedback in the Treatment of Developmental Trauma'

Neurofeedback in the Treatment of Developmental Trauma | Sebern Fisher