T and I discussed it a lot not necessarily on relation to her. She always validated my thoughts and helped me realize all the people who were always there. They only person who abandoned me was my father. All the others that left did so unwillingly, primarily through death. We had this discussion in and off for our 10 years working together. While I know it will probably never go away, it is more manageable. Take knew I worried about her abandoning me. Again it sS something we discussed so over time it got easier. When I struggled she said it was okay to check in and ask her.

Her death has caused some of those fears to resurface but I keep reminding myself she didn't do it willingly it was just a stupid horrible accident. So now I have similar conversations with EMDR T. I asked her if she was okay with me checking in. She said of course and that urs things are fine between us, she isn't going anywhere and she loved working with me.