((((ECHOES))))

It sounds like a tough session "aftermath" for you. Sometimes my sessions trigger different feelings and interpretations from me after the fact rather than in session. Sometimes I think this is because I am oblivious to my true feelings in session (need time to process) and sometimes I think it is because in the days that follow, I lose touch with the true reality of the session because I have lost the connection of being there. It can be hard. I'm sorry this is a hard week for you.

I think if my T ever mentioned the phrase "emotional regulation", I'd probably be angry too. I'm not sure if this fits for you, but it would upset me because I am very emotionally contained--don't show my feelings or express my needs--and that therapy is partly about helping me to learn to acknowledge my feelings and express my emotions. So if my T said I needed to work on emotional regulation I would feel very confused, and irritated too, like he was castigating me for my pitiful attempts at letting some feeling out. Could something similar be part of what is going on for you?

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Well, what's with this choosing something to focus on? Usually we 'start wherever you are'. Is she changing on me?!

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">I think you are free to listen to her "choices" and say that you'd like to talk about something else. Also, can you ask her if she is changing her therapeutic approach? Maybe she is, maybe she isn't. Sometimes they do change, but it isn't necessarily sinister. And with client feedback, they might decide the change isn't beneficial.

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
And knowing I am still grieiving a loss of someone we've talked about many times, nearly every session over the year I've been seeing her, she didn't even mention it! I squeezed it in some at end.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">This is interesting because earlier you seemed to resent that she didn't let you choose the topic, but this indicates you are unhappy she didn't guide the discussion by bringing up this specific topic. What do you want from your T? Could it be that is would be OK if sometimes she brings up topics and sometimes she lets you bring things up--a mix?