If you were never really attracted to your wife then why did you begin a relationship in the first place? Physical attraction is not the end all be all of a relationship, but it does play a part. Have you ever just stopped to consider what your wife might be feeling? Nobody can diagnose your wife except a medical professional but what you describe about her here are signs of someone who could be clinically depressed. You sound like you are very well to do financially. Have you ever asked your wife if she would like to see a therapist?