Quote:
Originally Posted by Sisabel
My daughter is 30 now and it doesn’t seem like our relationship ever progressed from when she was a teenager and she was always doing the exact opposite I wanted. I haven’t even begun to figure it out. I am realizing, however, that I take everything she does very personally. Lately I have tried to step back and look at the big picture. Maybe she’s just being herself and maybe that’s what I am having trouble accepting. I have a hard time accepting decisions she has made with her life.
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I learned to accept my daughter's decisions as being none of my concern very long ago. Recently, she went to Europe by herself, stayed in hostels, and one day her drink was spiked and she had a two hour blackout. The cell phone protector screen on her phone was broken and she was sexually assaulted, the evidence was there the next day on her body. She remembers nothing of the incident. This was what we talked about wanting to prevent. So we had these discussions with her a few times before she went there. But it still happened. In my mind the only way to prevent this was to not go to Europe alone. But I said nothing, because that's how to respect another person's decisions. It did result in her experiencing a great harm. I agree a thirty year old's decisions should be her own, even if it means great harm comes to her. But I'm more concerned about how she over identifies with Christine Ford. She automatically believes Christine Ford and hates Kavanaugh, based upon her recent experience. It's as if I say "I don't believe Ford," to her it means I don't believe her. They are two different people and they are two different events. It appears to me she's experiencing victim identification to a degree that distorts her perspective.