Good point Open Eyes!

Clairerobin: you seem to have an issue with NOT saying your opinion - seems to be a huge struggle for you to do as Open Eyes suggested, and I wonder if owning that would make the situation less tense.

I think... I have an issue with NOT saying my opinion also if other people are strident enough and if I disagree - so I am commenting this from sympathy.

One thing that is changing for me as I grow to be an old lady (!) is understanding how pleasurable it is to blend and bond, as opposed to always differentiate. I have genuine motivation to hold back sometimes when I wouldn't before: but also when I speak my mind I am going to be heard.

It seems important to notice when my motivation to be heard and my motivation to blend is the higher priority. Owning my needs in that is different from controlling the behaviour of others? Still reflecting....

Checking out whether you need to get along or to express your opinion is more important for you with your daughter...

Methinks your daughter might be more like you than you think in being unconscious of the value of blending and bonding behaviour. Wry smile there.

Ha... do I write that I agree with your daughter supporting Christine Ford (for different reasons)? Do I need to argue, or do I want to bond with you because getting wise about how I create conflicts is more real than a political discussion ?