I need to preface this by saying that I do not like talking about being in a residential program. People get so confused and they really need not be lol. I'm functional and I am in a residential program. The end, lol. it's better than living at my parents house, and I'm making steps in bettering my life, this is a step in that process. Anyway, I guess I feel a bit insecure talking about it. Even though I wouldn't judge anyone else living in a res. program!

Ok:

The assistant manager of the residential program I'm in resigned and found another job I guess. She never told me though, that she was leaving, and I found out through a worker of mine. I felt so hurt. Why didn't she tell me she was leaving? It may seem small, but I thought we had a working relationship even though things were going smoothly for me, so I didn't have to talk to her much anymore. So for her to not tell me that she was leaving, really hurt. I felt hurt. I feel like my trust was broken. Like I don't trust the program anymore. I have struggled on and off with the workers in it, and it makes me wonder if I'm hated. that;'s a really awful thought to have. I have been wondering this stuff since I found out about a week or two ago. What did I do? Did she not like me? I thought she respected me more than that.

However, she is only 23 years old. That's a very immature age, I don't care if she's an assistant manager or the queen of england.

I had a thought earlier, that if someone said to me "it sounds like they're a bunch of idiots," (Meaning the residential team), I'd feel a lot better! I sometimes think that. I mean I have had a few issues with them. Including the worker who was a chronic liar, and this particular assistant mgr, too. Once I complained about her to a higher up. But I was civil about it. And I was nice to her about it too.

But there are nice people in the program too. My current workers are pretty amazing people. I do wonder if some of them only think of their job as a job though, and not relationships with people who they are serving.

I think I was just really...thrown. When I found out. I think I just thought that I was worth telling. So it made me question my relationship with her and look back at things like, maybe we weren't as close as I thought (we really were not close at all. I don't know why this bothers me...but it does. I had a lot of interactions with her). It just seems unprofessional and unkind.

But it's her decision, really. And I don't know the particulars. I don't know what happened, but maybe she didn't tell other people either (I'm taking it personally, but it may not be). Maybe she has a hard time with goodbyes. Maybe she is an immature *****. Maybe it's her right and for whatever reason, she just chose not to. Maybe she DIDN'T like me. I'd heard things from others. In the beginning when I first moved in last year. She was upset that I requested to not work with someone. She didn't think I had that right.

Anyway. I'd really like to look at this from a bigger place. A more mature place, lol. It just hurts and made me question things, and I need to vent.