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I have a tendency to tell myself I'm OK even when I'm actually experiencing mild bipolar depressive or hypomanic symptoms. I think I do this because I really want to be OK so much that I am in a bit of a denial. I don't know if others sometimes or often do this, too. Anyway, sometimes I finally do figure out the reality of my moods, after the fact. I recall in the past (when I used to fill one out), going back and changing moods from baseline to mildly depressed or hypomanic on a mood chart. I've done similar even between other severities of depression or bipolar mania.
Am I mildly depressed?
I have had some nice moments these past few weeks. If I see someone in public, I feel momentary satisfaction. If by chance a good song is on the radio (if I even play the radio, which I do only in my car), I can get into it. But only a few songs rock my boat anymore.
Though my self care isn't always good even when "baseline", I've neglected it longer than usual these past couple weeks.
I really have no interest in doing anything other than looking for support on forums.
I have not been able to write anything in my blog for weeks.
I abandoned my diet over a month ago.
I dread going most places, but can still force myself to. Sometimes I'm glad I did, but that doesn't encourage me to keep excursions up.
I feel guilty that I do not play with my pet enough.
I dread my husband's and my financial situation, and dread the idea of his ideas to rectify it.
I'm grieving the loss of my old therapist, and want to reduce my sessions with my new one from every week to every other week.
I'm not cooking as much as usual.
I stay in bed most of the day on my phone or computer.
I'm falling asleep much earlier than usual and having difficulty getting up at my usual time.
I'm procrastinating and blowing things off a lot.
I'm not doing as many chores as usual.
I never do deliberate exercise.
There are moments when I wish my husband didn't love me as much as he does, because then I could hide away by myself and not face the plans he has to escape our financial situation.
I have no faith that my husband's ideas would yield any good. In fact, I am terrified of them.
I never contact any of my family members and they rarely contact me.
I feel like I cannot see a chance of significant improvement in my situation.
I used to love seeing my psychiatrist, but now I have a touch of dread in seeing him.
I am mostly only eating unhealthful foods.
That's all I can think of for now.
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