You were a good mother. And now you are feeling the pain you needed to allow yourself back then.

What you did for your son was a sacrifice to make him happy and keep his life normal. You did what you thought was right, and what worked at the time. It isnt strange, its what mothers do for the children they love.

You didnt do that because you wanted to be there with "him" but you did it to help your son have a happy life. Time for freewill to be happy too. Yes I know that when my abuser kicks it i will be happy. might not be the right way to feel but it is what it is.

Sometimes, there isnt justice. But we need to have faith that what goes around comes around. and he will get what he so deserves.

Strong hugs to you. even if this doesnt help.....im thinking of you

Colleen