I think it's totally normal to want something you've never had really badly. I also think the fact that relationships are so public anymore with social media, etc that it can make you feel even more alone and inadequate if you're not in one. What I'm going to say next might not help you much, but I'll give it a shot anyway

I'm 35. I dated around in high school but nothing super serious until I met my ex husband when I was 17. We had our son when I was 18 (just about to turn 19) and he was 21. We got married when I was 20 and he was 23 and just divorced this past July. I jumped right back into another serious relationship immediately after my ex and I split because I didn't want to be alone. I don't know how to be alone because I've been with someone all of my adult life. While my marriage was really great at times, it really didn't do me any favors in the long run. Now that I'm divorced I realize I put all my eggs in one basket and didn't take the time to focus on myself or plan for the future because I assumed I would always be married to the man I was married to. Instead of getting to figure out who I was and what I wanted in life I became a mom and wife when most people are still trying to figure out what party they should be going to every night. It was hard but I wouldn't have traded it for the world and I still wouldn't because I got an amazing kid out of it all. What I would have done differently even having had my son so young is finished college, taken the time to think about what I saw for us down the road, and taken the time to get to know myself and who I was. Now I've carried all of my baggage into my new relationship and guess what...it's not going so well. All of the emotional damage that has been done to me over the years is now so consuming that I'm wrecking something that has incredible potential to be really amazing. The guy I'm with now is honestly a once in a lifetime find, but I'm so hung up on his past that I can't focus on the present or our future. Enough about that though - this is your thread, lol.

My point is, you have so many years ahead of you to be in a relationship and find love and although it doesn't feel like that will ever happen right now, it will. Trust me. Sometimes you have to just be patient even when that's the last thing you want to be. Time goes by really really ridiculously fast and before you know it you'll be thinking back to how you're feeling right now and realizing everything fell into place just how it was supposed to.

My advice to you is to just do all you can to make yourself the best person you can be, figure out who and what you want to be and then just enjoy life's adventure. Then when you find someone to share yourself with you will be giving her a really well rounded, thoughtful, confident and secure man. Everything will work out for you. Try not to get down on yourself too much