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Originally Posted by MRT6211
So...I’m determined to try to not get attached to current T. It’s starting to happen and I either have to pull back or work through it, but both feel so hard. I’m leaning towards pulling back. I wrote to T that these are my options, I guess our session tomorrow will determine how I proceed. But it doesn’t seem like there’s a definite process or something that can really be worked out, so I’m probably going to pull back. :/
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I also have abandonment and attachment issues. In my experience, trying to avoid getting too attached to a T can almost make it worse. The trying to fight against that and pushing away the thoughts and feelings can be a losing battle. So I've found it's best to talk about it when it comes up for me. If, say, I'm concerned T is upset with me, whether from something he said, body language, etc., I'll ask him about it--and he encourages that. He's reassured me about some things in the relationship (though he seemed reluctant to do so at first, but I think he now understands the importance for me, so that I can trust him and feel safe). At the same time, he's trying to help me strengthen my outside relationships and also to feel stronger in myself. It's not a fast process, but I think I'm making progress. So I'd suggest talking about it with your T.