So sorry you are in this position. Your reactions are perfectly normal. Are you the only person he does this to? Can you confront him & say it is not ok for this to happen again. He's not aloud in your house alone anymore. You won't open the door to him. Keep your phone in hand tell him you will call 911 if he tries it again IMHO you can't recover & get healthy if it continues to occur. You are not his toy . You are a beautiful, strong adult who doesn't have to put up with this juvenile behavior. Take care of yourself.