It's super great you understand you have issues and you're trying to work through them, that's a HUGE deal. If you aren't in therapy, I highly suggest you find someone.
I'm not gonna lie, I have 3 personalities and 1 is jealous AF. She constantly wants to know where our husband is and how often he's came in 1 day with an ex (it's less than me BTW, super yay!- lol). Anyway, this is what I heard from a previous ex and I love it.

Less history, more mystery.

That means, don't dwell on each others pasts.
Think about you and your family 1 year from now. Is he there? Is he depressed? Is he not in love with you because you are clearly and deliberately sabotaging your relationship. You don't feel good enough, flat out. You need to be true to yourself and accept yourself. Then, you need to accept that he loves you and accepts you for you AND your past.
If he can get past your past, why can't you get past his?
No one, NO ONE will last forever in your life if there's a wedge in every relationship because of insecurities. You'll go through men until you wear them down and they leave. Drama is a hard one to lose an addiction to, but try to find something calming. Music, yoga, massage, wine tasting, whatever, and center yourself and accept yourself and before throwing up drama all over this perfect man, talk to yourself, YEP, talk out your questions and the responses you're expecting. Because, truth be told, you want his past relationship to be better than yours. You can conquer the world if you try!
Hang in there! Every day when I'm having a hard moment, and I have anger and an attitude, people are stupid and it annoys me, I tell myself, 'this too shall pass'. I try to literally imagine water rolling off my shoulders, rolling off a ducks back. I try to visualize a rock being lifted off me, dirt being thrown over me instead of on me. It helps but it takes time, hours... days.
Remember you're worth love and no one on the planet is like you. You're 1 in 7 billion. So shine like a star.