I saw my therapist on Monday. he asked if I want to play a game. I said what game. t said it doesn't matter.. I just know when ur not doing well and hearing voices it's hard for u to talk.

we didn't end up playing a game tho. I showed him some notes I wrote on my phone. he said he thinks all the anger and sui and homi stuff is actually just the voices. which idk aren't they both?

I showed him another note about CSA trauma. we talked about that a bit

t kept bringing up me not taking my medication and offered twice for me to come back to his office so he can help me take them. I don't want to get into why I can't take them on here

I cried and said I don't know because the voices staffed attacking me

t said whatever they're saying it's not true. t said they lie. they lie about every thing

I left upset and drive around for 5-6 hours to listen to the radio and its messages for me.

yesterday I manage to go to t office with my medication. but I heard t tell me you need to leave now

I left n felt upset cause t is mad.. told me to leave. I emailed t saying I am sorry I thought it would be ok.. t wrote back and said he didn't say anything to me when I was there. he said my mind isn't working right.

maybe he did. maybe he didn't. I don't know anymore