You've got to take care of yourself and not go back to restricting food as it does recur for me worse and worse with time (more the overexercise in my case), and if you almost needed a feeding tube, that is bad. That's where I was my first time around, probably did need a tube, I was just not in a hospital. I pulled out on my own, and it is still the hardest thing I have done in my life.

The pdoc wasn't happy with my weight a couple weeks ago, gave my the options to gain weight over the next 2 weeks, take Remeron, or go to the psych hospital. I stopped the exercise, started gaining again as hard as it is. I have flat out told my pdocs they can prescribe me meds that cause me to gain weight (so far it's only been Remeron that affects me that way), but they can be sure I will not take them. That stupid Remeron never made me fill full, a bad thing when trying to get over an eating disorder, and then it just turned me to bulimic tendencies before I just stopped taking it.

Can you can in to see your pdoc sooner by calling in saying you have an urgent matter? Or can you ask the staff to have your pdoc call you over an urgent issue? Then, maybe the pdoc will do an earlier appt., mine even makes slight med changes over the phone (sometimes lowering or upping a med he prescribed if I have enough, doing an insurance over-ride if I need more, and if it requires a different prescription, sends it in to my pharmacy. Getting depressed, worrying about food restriction, strict dieting, overexercising are not good. Maybe tell the staff you need to come in as you feel you badly need a meds adustment, I'd tell the pdoc more if you talk to him/her on the phone, all the issues you mention above. Or if the pdoc has an emergency number you can call, call it. Shifting to depressive or maybe mixed, exercise/diet that you are nearly certain will cause an ED relapse, explaining how bad it was before. During an appointment, I'd also tell the pdoc which med/meds you feel are causing weight gain or the feeling to stop the psych meds altogether, and if the pdoc can try you on different meds. Sometimes even meds that didn't work for me in the past now do on this cocktail and probably hormonal changes getting older. Flat out tell the pdoc if you feel a med is making you gain weight, they can prescribe it, but they can be sure you will not take it. I have found this is quite effective with pdocs, even when I had to use the sucky state free to very small sliding scale when you could afford it (not the best of care but the pdocs listened to that) county system in grad school. I am not sure how you feel about your pdoc, how good the pdoc is, if they will do things like I wrote above.

My relapses have been less extreme than my first go-round, each not as bad as the one before, but still bad enough.

I really do urge you to get in ASAP with your pdoc, as you do not sound to be in a good place at all.

Maybe you could need a change of fibro meds from your rheumatologist as you also seem to be in bad physical pain too, which I am sure does not help bipolar at all, go see your PCP for a blood workup checking not just the normal thyroid stuff but everything with your thyroid (there are more tests than the standard they can run that can reveal thyroid issues the normal tests do not, maybe female hormone levels too, all your vitamins, electrolytes, especially B6 (not often tested for but I had B6 toxicity from too much in my system before pregnancy, and it really sucked bad and did not help my mental health situation either, causing weight gain, swelling, tingling in the extremities, fatigue worse than ever, severe Raynaud's phemonen). The cure was to stop taking B6 (had a women's multi-vitamin that amped it up, plus gym drinks pre-workout, maybe after too, that took ages to get over, even had it after my daughter was born for about another year; now I have it tested to be sure I'm OK; lately it has been fine with taking a normal women's one-a-day vitamin). H is low on B12, but I think that one they test; he has to have B12 injections now but feels they are helping. Try to get an EKG, just to be sure of your heart.

Hang in there