It was a really nice session. We talked about the dreams I had about T1. I said I wasn't sure why i dreamt about being ambivalent about making a choice between leaving T for T1 or staying with T, when in real life I don't want to go back to him at all. T said what about what he represents, then I remembered another bit of the dream where I said I give current T a pass for some of the things he has said and done in the past, when if T1 had done them i would be adding them to the list of ***** things he did, so that seems like a double standard. I think it makes sense that it relates to my relationship with current T, and T1 is just symbolic in there.

We went on to talk about some things I'm doing professionally and he said he takes a lot of pleasure in witnessing my professional development. He said he sees like a really complicated version of a transactional analysis model of interaction when he thinks of our relationship. He said it felt there that we were talking therapist to therapist. But the bit of him that takes pleasure in my professional development is a slightly different thing, it's like a different version of therapist to therapist. He said it's the part that thinks I will be a better therapist because of my therapy. He said he takes...takes...a bit of glory in that. I thought glory was a really funny word to choose. I translated that in my head that he's proud of me and he's proud of the work we've done together.

He also named the transference/countertransference which could emerge between us that echoes and we have to be careful about when things can trigger that area. I thought it was really helpful that he named that because it's something that has the potential to kind of creep up on us if we aren't aware of it.

Then I wanted to bring up that (trigger ET)

I said that it occurred to me that being in a building adjoining his house for therapy was symbolic of the therapeutic relationship because he lets me in without letting me in
He said that made sense. Then he paused and said " why has that come up now? I love it when there are moments where we say something without knowing."

He told me that they are planning some building work and the therapy room will be unusable for a while. One of the options he is looking at is using a room in his house.

I just started laughing. After what I had just compared it to. Literally me:

I said I wasn't sure whether I would want to do that and that I would think about it. Which I still am.

We stood up and he hugged me tight. I said "love you".

We said goodbye and I walked away. I heard him say "oh goodness" behind me (in quite a relaxed way - not like he'd seen a ghost). Don't know what that was about.