I've felt better today. *I asked if someone wanted something for lunch and we went out* I think that's important for me to do from time to time.

A person at work that's been -- I hate to say, but triggering to me lately-- has been getting on other people's nerves too.

I'm upset too that this person triggers me, because I feel for them... but yet- I'm not too upset , that basically the other day I was saying enough was enough.

I feel validated because it's not "just me" being bothered by this person..but also feel upset with myself for getting upset like I did (I kept clapping my hands loudly because I was so frustrated ((*I dont recall I've done that before)) and was trying so hard to stay calm with talking,... because once I lose talking coherently it has gotten too far and I can't think straight and last T mentioned that I'm disassociating when I'm at that point).

I know everyone says I didn't do anything outrageous (little do they know I was screaming in my car and crying hysterically when I left)...
my mind and head, I try so hard not to break down at work- and i hate that i had to leave .. which not everyone gets it...

I'm glad that I've found something that helps me, but annoyed that I forget to pick it up when I feel ok ((I forget because I feel ok, then a day happens and I'm scrabbling to obtain it)).. basically I forgot to purchase my med basically... I'm really trying to be better this year, and reminding no beating myself up on what has Helped me get by all these years,
I'm grateful my last t helped me understand that. ((It's cannabis and especially CBD that helps me in these funks)).. I do smoke some days, not lately though because I've been off..
my dad's past words that I'm nothing but a functional junkie-- I wish would stay away.. perhaps I am to some, but there's worse things than this & that's their opinion.

I talked with my ex/friend, he agreed that he was being an ***hole & apologized. he tried to explain that he wasn't trying to tell me i should had known, he was was trying to just state "his fact" ((which comes off to me as i should had known-- context maybe needed for another to understand but anyways)) but it'sok,in the end .
We all have our own struggles... getting through them one day at a Time