Hi!

I just joined myself, but I see we have a lot in common. I've been told I was ugly since I was about 10 or so, mostly by my parents and brother, but it *does* stick. I'm really insecure in that area.

Anyway, one thing I've noticed about myself is I can look really *plain jane* if I don't put any effort into my looks. (Downright ugly sometimes in sweats and ponytail). But I can look fairly good if I do the following: 1) wear updated/stylish/figure appropriate clothes; 2) wear make-up; 3) have a super-fab (read expensive) haircut and style; and 4) get manicures/pedicures or at least keep hands looking decent. My imperfections (like weight issues/acne bad skin/plain face get hidden fairly well by being up-to-date style-wise and well groomed. In addition, when I've done all this stuff up, I feel really good about myself, and *that* attitude shows. And *that attitude* makes a person attractive.

My personal weakness in men is a really cool/modern hair style. If a guy is going bald, cut any remaining hair *really* short. And cologne. Ralph Lauren anything.... <font color="blue"> </font>

Do I wish I could look good just wearing sweats like so many women do? Heck yeah, but I don't. So I've got to put in extra effort.

As a woman, I can tell you first hand that looks matter somewhat, but they are not the be all/end all of a guy's attractiveness. I find a guy who is well groomed to be extremely attractive. OK? Keifer Sutherland is *not* that great looking, but he's sexy cuz he takes care of himself. Adam Sandler? Same thing. They don't have stereotypically handsome looks, but they still are.

I really do think that putting in some extra effort in your grooming and style habits will make you feel better about your looks. I think it's a 90% psychological boost, 10% *viewable* boost.

Hang in there. You sound really nice.

Susan