Im trying to find a place of my own. im old enough for that. the only think keeping me from doing it sooner was money: not getting enough from those super small part time jobs… anyway. now i can, so im starting it.

but it has totally messed up with my head. because im the "i want it and i want it now" kind of person and it doesnt help…. stresses more. to the point i talk endlessly and very fast about the same things over and over. or i stutter and cant find words to say anything i wanted to say, and im feeling exhausted.

not excited for the research just endlessly exhausted. i still have 2 places to look at and then i'll decide which one will be mine. total is 3 options (tomorrow's included).

its such an important decision for me. im glad i have parents and T helping me out. im just so impatient.

i saw T today and she says its normal for someone with OCD, BPD, ANA, treated for low blood pressure and working her *** off at work, feeling overwhelmed by this research. but i cant give anything of this up. i'll do it, it all. meds will help. i'll do it. i'll do it. i must. i need a place on my own to make my choices.

just need some support please… someone to calm me down if possible please?